Courage, I think

A good agent is like a parking spot, or a mate. I only need one.

Now that I am looking again, I remember how much it feels like dating – so much getting ready, so many attractive people at the party, but when rejection comes it only takes a second to pop all the balloons.

So I am writing here as meditation of sorts. I’ve written a story about which I care deeply, and I am simply looking for the best way to share it with as many people as possible, because that is what I do when something touches me. I’ve been known to stop strangers on the street to point out the rising moon, or other heavenly phenomenon, because the beauty was too much for me to carry alone.

I need to remember that this process of seeking agency and publication will result in me being somewhere other than I am right now as I begin, somewhere I cannot predict, whatever the result.

I need to remember that I am not alone. Such friends I have, new and old!

I need to remember that I am being bold! Do you hear me, mighty forces that are said then to come to my aid? I am laying it on the line, officially calling this my best.

I need to remember that feeling this naked and full of want has resulted in some of the greatest beauty I’ve known.

I need you to remind me what else I’ve forgotten. Help!

Women on Fire

When we fall in love , we revel in discovery, risk and expansion. Then, when we start to feel vulnerable in our need and newfound sense of safety, often we stop taking chances.

Worse, we make a terrible bargain: 'I'll pretend I won’t change if you promise to give up changing too. I’ll always be the same person you've come to need and love, and you'll do the same for me.'

We've all seen this happen to people we love. Most of us have made this deal ourselves, whether with spouse, parents, children, or whomever we come to count on.

I am writing today to honor certain women -- you know who you are -- who of late have come to me with the cry: 'I am growing and changing and the whole life I’ve built may shatter.'

I am honored by your trust and inspired by your courage.

Intricate webs of family and love and obsolete dynamics hang in the balance. In addressing these, you have chosen to care too for the fire that keeps you going, you as woman unto herself. You came and lit your damp wick in my flame, a flame you have helped me keep burning over the years.

I think of the lamp that is kept ever burning at many an altar, symbol that the deity is present.

Thank you for your fire. Goddess Bless and Goddess keep.