Age

I have a reverse body image problem -- I think I look much younger and thinner than I actually do. This is okay -- it makes me happy, I walk down the street feeling good and then laugh at how different I look in a passing window than I think I do. I read somewhere that optimists tend to have a weaker grasp on reality than pessimists. But we also have more fun.

Lately, however, I occasionally notice changes in my body that even my most optimistic self cannot deny. The texture of my skin is changing, not just on my face, but on places like my legs, too. My first thought is displeasure. I have internalized the idea that this is bad, that skin should not look or feel like this.

Then I remember -- it's not just that I'm getting older: I get to get older. I have avoided death several times, even when it stared me in the face.

Getting older happens when we're lucky. And who says that my skin should look this way and not that? Surely not the man I live with, who prefers the way women look as they get older. (I didn't chose him for that, I swear, it's just a fringe benefit.)

Go see the movie The Visitor , just a gem, and fall in love with 48-year-old Hiam Abbass. We need more women like her who are not afraid of their own faces. Women who shine at any age.