Two Years Ago Today

Paul and I met two years ago. His form first appeared as a black and white square – an email response to my Craigslist post. I knew, not where we’d go, but that here was a man wonderfully unlike any I'd ever met, online or off.

Only weeks before, I had come to appreciate how essential it was to be completely and painstakingly true to myself, ALL the time.

Is that sad, that it didn’t happen until I was 38? Or is it magnificient that it happened at all?

I came to appreciate also that what I really wanted in a partner was so specific, and so complex, I knew I would likely never find it. That said, it was the truth of what I wanted.

So I put a post up describing Exactly what I wanted. Very specific, but not about height and weight, more about capacity for joy and peace.

I don’t remember expecting anything; I just put that description out there and waited to see what happened.

A whole range of answers came. And then Paul.

The match was so exact, that we’ve joked since then that the post was titled, Dear Paul.

If that were not miracle enough, the beauty part is his continuous encouragement to me to remain completely true to myself in every moment, even when the relationship we’ve come to envision is on the line.

So, Dear Paul: thank you. I love you. Shouted from the rooftops of the internet, as it were.